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Sometimes it is far too easy to forget that we are not simply in a meat market; more often than not, people are seeking a connection with another human being, not a quick rub up in a bathroom. Sometimes we just settle for that rub because we feel unworthy or incapable of anything more.

Just like some butch women approach me, stare at my tits and act like my ultimate goal is to be dominated by a more masculine personality. I do however hope that your article will at least encourage someone to think twice the next time they approach someone, and for those that never read this, that they will meet someone beautiful like the person who helped me change my life.

I may still be single and searching for that perfect woman, but I now wake up at the end of every weekend and can smile at my reflection.

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I loved this article! The gayborhood is a scary place after hours. THIS times Whenever someone crosses them i find myself apologizing to them for my anxiety and uncomfortable feelings. I think its interesting however that there is a tendency for straight women to do this kind of thing. I had a similar experience to you Kade but perhaps escalated further. Slow clap. This was effing amazing. Well said and something that sadly needs to be said.

One of my favourite pieces from you. The ending of it was just so powerful, wow. As always, an incredible and thought provoking read. The reaction of your friends kinda bothers me though. Okay what I am about tho write is by no means an excuse for the kind of behavior that violates boundaries and agencies over other peoples bodies.

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Because this is horrible and is never okay. That being said, I have this one thought of what may also be the cause for shitty things like that. Maybe the problem is not only that we tend to project patriarchal stereotypes into female masculinity but also that femme-invisibility is a thing? Like Kate said, some people get read as queer no matter what occasion and space.

On the contrary the queerness of stereotypically feminine women is questioned even within queer contexts and spaces. Basically they are always in need to prove that they are in fact queer enough. So while it is enough for a moc woman to simply be present, the femme needs to jump ropes to be seen by someone she is interested in: She needs to be the one who makes the first step, she need to initiate and be vocal.

And sometimes physical and this is where shit gets messy because people and their boundaries are different.

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Therefore I am really thankful for this conversation. Because we all need to check ourselves and to communicate our experiences to others and also to listen to the realities of other lives, so we can stop ourselves from hurting each other. As for the entitlement of straight girls I dunno.

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Straight people keep confusing me since I am tired and English is a foreign language for me. But I tried. But I think it sheds light on the fact that stereotyped expectations about how lesbians should look and act hurt every one of us, and we really need to keep fighting them so we can all be cool with ourselves and each other. I am so sick and goddamn tired of hearing stories of femmes identifying themselves as queer and being told to prove it. There WAS a disastrous period where I would assure feminine acquaintances that I understood they were straight, because my queerness was incredibly visible and so many random girls preemptively informed me of their heterosexuality that I figured it would save everyone discomfort if I acknowledged it first.

I get that your-love-is-my-redemption is a sentiment that can come up, very authentically, in a lot of our deepest romantic relationships. But overall, these ideas that 1.

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These ideas cause real harm. My sense, from a perspective somewhere on the feminine side of the spectrum, is that the kind of harassment described here has a lot to do with the femme savior narrative. But I just want to add my perspective on a particular bit of cultural baggage that can use some unpacking while we work to dismantle the ways in which we harm each other within queer spheres.

In fact, that thought has never, never crossed my mind except in a four-year relationship in which someone labeled me as such like you mentioned, a very deep relationship. I assume you and most readers are aware of this, but I always feel that I need to validate the femme identity in its non-conformity as well as its potential acceptability. Thank you for continuing to challenge the gender roles we seem to be put into by both hetero and homo culture. I would hope that the one of the outcomes of not fitting into the heterosexual norms of society would be allowing us to redefine and reexamine gender roles.

Just because you are masculine presenting, does not mean you are NOT a woman. Just because you appear more feminine, does not mean you are not capable of standing up for yourself. People see me, and, much like your experiences, assume things about me that are simply not true. Anyone who spends more than 15 minutes with me knows that I am still a girl.

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I may know nothing about hair, makeup or fashion stereotypes, I know but I can and do talk about my feelings whenever I can. I have 4 sisters, its hard to not be somewhat in touch with your emotions, growing up in a houseful of ladies.

One of my old coworkers would flirt incessantly with me at work, despite her knowing I had a girlfriend, and my clear discomfort with her advances. On her last night in town after graduation, she found me, walking alone to my car, and pinned me up against the wall and forced a kiss on me.

I get enough shit from straight men, why do straight women think its ok to objectify me? Thank you for continuing to address the issues created by our patriarchal society, I look forward to hearing more from you :. Being masculine does not make her not a woman.

Being genderqueer and not identifying as strictly a woman does, however, and you need to respect that. That is as much a stereotype as the other things you mention. The only way a conversation would show that anyone is a woman is if they said so. I guess people assume that, for one, men are promiscuous and always want sex and that, as a result, masculine women are like that as well.

What a twist that would be, right? It makes me really sad. We need to work towards creating a queer culture where there is an open dialogue about boundaries and respect and presentation. And we need to treat embodiment and presentation as something that is unique and not a flat standard. Every time you write something I feel like writing you a thank you letter. Wow, what an awesome post. So thank you for helping me see that. I wish I could have given you a hug that night and helped you make things okay again.

That must have really sucked, and then having friends trivialize your discomfort must have sucked, too. From a personal point of view, I am pretty slight and small in stature and I suppose I would be viewed as being femme ish.

My girlfriend is taller than I am but much more a femme. I seem to get the rougher advances, the gropes, the innappropriate touches or the comments with a threatening edge.

Luckily my girlfriend is more the emotional protector of our relationship and is an amazing person who treats me with respect and dignity and recognises the hurt I feel when treated like an object.

I really feel for you, no matter what way you present you are entitled to feel safe, to feel that your body is your own and to set your own limits of comfort which others must respect. Thank you so much for this, I could relate a lot to it.

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This article has changed the way I look at the world and my place in it. Well done. I can really relate. The city i live in is kind of small so there is only one gay bar and it can be a pretty diverse crowd of unwanted personal space invasions. Alot of times gay men will mistake me or my friends for one of their own and come on really strong.

I loved this article.

Butch Dixon loves naked men - hairy men, muscle bears, gay bears, real men. Original videos and photos for gay men who love masculine men. Find and follow posts tagged hot dyke on Log in Sign up. iamtheforeigner. You know what's hot? Women. even when you have bad lesbian sex it still usually results in an orgasm so the fact that heterosexual women claim to have lower rates of sexual satisfaction in relationships is not only sad, it's inexcusable #tomboy #boi #butch. Butch Lesbian Porn r/ Butchporn. Join. hot. hot new top rising. hot. new. top. rising. card. card classic compact. Posted by 7 hours ago. I've been told I look like a big tittie Harry Potter. nsfw. 3 comments. share. save. Posted by 1 day ago. Sometimes I like to be a tiny bit femme.

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with situations like these; I love have you have used those experiences to express this stuff that evidently a lot of masculine-of-center people are feeling. Thank you for writing what others might be too afraid to say. This article has really touched me, as a gender queer person. I am about to be late for work cos once again I started reading something Kate wrote and am now feeling ALL the feelings, sitting here in pyjama pants with absolutely no desire to go out the door and deal with society cos its just wall to wall wankers out there.

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Because patriarchy! I have such a story to respond to this with but the comment would be too long and honestly the experience was almost too traumatizing to fully even just in type. Long story short, my very drunk roommate came home one night with some girl who woke me up in my bed, hanging over me, in the middle of the night because my roommate had told her about his gay roommate. The things she said disgusted and frightened me even though she did really touch me.

I literally woke up with a strange girl in my bed. The whole situation seemed like a joke to my roommate who clearly had no concept of sexual harassment. Even though I later got more apologies from my roommate, I still shiver at the memory of that girl and her Cheshire grin glowing in the darkness. If my girlfriend had been there, she would have been punched to say the least. There is never an excuse for harassment. Straight men have been blaming the victim because of her dress or makeup or body shape or hair for millennia.

Just because we think someone is super hot, we have no right to infringe on their physical or emotional autonomy. Straight women who are attracted to butch women need to pull our shit together.

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Hey there. I just wanted to let you know that I went through this every single time I went out when I was in england. I write stories on butch-femme sex, have given seminars blah de blah de blah and I have massive hooters. This means I am always up for it.

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For ten years I did not go to a single event without some wanker dyke butch, femme, genderqueer, just me etc pulling some kind of idiot stick on my body. I know what it feels like. And people are shocked and I must be making that shit up, right? I must think eeeeeeveryone wants me. You do have to grow a very thick skin and talk to those who get it. People will come up with excuses and try and save their embarrassment by making you look bad.

As will you. All you can do is stand up for yourself, be very assertive, make jokes and try to educate. Just hang in there and be very, very forward. The problem is that even among the queer community we often replicate problems that exist with society at large, objectification of women being one of them. When it comes to butches, that probably works in two ways.

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Just tell them straight to stop and call for help if they continue. Unfortunately for people who will carry on regardless of what you say, being nice or being quiet is akin to a complete green light. I can relate to this. Men can be abused, women can be abused, masculine women can be abused. You are worth more than that and no, dear, you do NOT have to accept that type of behavior because you are butch.

You are lovely from your picture and you seem like you have a lovely soul too. You deserve all the respect and love due to a human being.

I wish you more luck in finding good partners in life and love. This is why I hate the entire concept of masculine privilege, honestly. As a fellow masculine, I definitely sympathize. If not you can always start your own and attract new members.

No mufflers. It was a Harley Davidson fatboy. The driver dressed in black leather head forward till it turned into a gas station for a refill. The driver got off the bike and walked like any other biker with biker boots. The biker took off the helmet and revealed a brunette with piercing blue eyes. The cashier was amazed a woman would take a role. She was an 18 year old doe eyed, black girl.

Her father was a part time preacher and owned the gas station. She was totally in struck by the beautiful biker. Maybe do a picnic together, Uh Sweetie? They exchanged numbers and started texting then sexting each other.

Before they knew it, it was time for the picnic. Liz was the butch. Not only a motorcycle rider, she owned a construction company that did the sets for the local tv studios. An accomplishment not many lesbians could call their own. She was very excited about meeting Donna. She needed a mature guide especially with a conservative preacher father. The headed to the beach. Donna loved the feeling of holding on to Liz as she powered down the road.

Everything got quiet as the approached the big patch of blue through the shaded trees.

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It was midday during the week. They got into their bathing suits and lay in the sun. They caught up on everything going on with each other as they rubbed suntan lotion on each other.

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