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I have a 14 year old stepson who has been living with us from this year. He lies a lot master at it , is sometimes dilutional and does not show emotion. He acts like an 8 year old around us, but when he goes home to Durban, he is a teenager judging from the messages on his phone. Overall he is a nice child to have around. He likes playing with little children, to the extend that we had to tell him to start socialising with his own age. A couple of months ago, my sister-in-law refused to send her 9 year old daughter to our place, apparently something happened with her and our son I thought she was overreacting.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men with severe erectile dysfunction had considerably lower vitamin D levels than men with mild ED.
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Heavy drinking proportionately increases your risk of ED, according to research from the Indian Journal of Psychiatry. Stress is another factor that can be a cause or effect of ED. Your mind is elsewhere, and relaxing when you finally make it between the sheets is a long shot. Men aged who reported having sex less than once per week had twice the incidence of erectile dysfunction there were 79 cases of ED per 1, as men who have sex once a week 32 cases of ED per 1, But if you really want to up your odds, shoot for three times per week only 16 cases of ED per 1, Can you really argue with science, or a perscription to have more sex?
The more you puff, the more you put your penis at risk, according to a study from the Tulane University School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine. The researchers examined 7, men between the ages of and concluded about 23 percent of erectile dysfunction cases can be chalked up to cigarette smoking.
To keep your levels high, check out this testosterone-boosting workout. Talk to your doctor about your options. You also need totall to your son about this and if anything else has happened. I do agree, however, that sending him off without addressing the issue only leaves him to persue children elsewhere. BM needs to be made aware of what's happening. It is important for the boy to talk with a counselor. If he was abused, a counselor can help bring that to light.
I do agree with you luv them all I would make sure I addressed the problem, but he would not be living under my roof and in the same house with my son while it was being addressed.
I know that this is a horrible and rough subject, but lets give realistic advice. Counseling does help. As does jail. Group therapy, and Offender rehabilition programs. This is a sickness. A horrible illness that can't be cured, but it can be worked with.
These Men and woman need help. And society would rather burn them at the stake. The majority of these people are not proud of what they have done and they don't realize the lasting effect it has on the other person.
I have a brother who is in prison for his offence. And that is the best place for him. I am in a relationship with an "offender", who has been in and contiues counceling and therapy programs. I was raped by several men when i was My advice comes from several different areas of understanding. Just FYI it has been proven that it is a issue with the chemical make up in the brain. True offenders that begin at a young age will never stop.
Yes they need help but no they can not be "cured" by rehabilitation programs and other meetings. It is also proven that jail doesn't always work as well.
If someone is a True offender and begins showing signs at a young age there really isn't hope of anything curing them. I have studied these subjects for 4 years.
I have read countless books and I have also interviewed sex offenders, and murders. Call the police immediately and have them haul the little PERV off to where he belongs.
He should spend the rest of his youth in juvenile hall where he can pay the price for his criminal behavior. Sure, get him help and counseling but only in addition to what the government will provide for him as an inmate. He needs to be flagged as a sex offender for the rest of his life so other children will be protected from him. Once the police haul him off in cuffs I would not allow him back in to my home. Your DH has to step up also in order protect his younger children from his deviant older son as well as protect the children of friends, family and the broader community.
I would also call all of the parents of the children that the PERV has been in contact with lately to inform them of his crime against your child and so that they can press charges if necessary to protect their own children. The police are not going to lock this kid up. At all. They will turn this over to DCS-allow them to investigate-the boy will get treatment.
My guess is also that this boy must have been sexually abused himself and that will need to be investigated. The child may need to be placed in foster care if there are younger kids in bm's home or if he is being abused there. If a half a dozen or so sets of parents file charges against him for sexual assault on their children he will not only go to jail tonight but for years if he is convicted, even as a juvenile.
I would have him in jail tonight if he molested my child, if I let him live that long. It would be all I could do not to beat him to death for stealing my child's innocence. By the way I am really sorry this is happening to you. This must be a very shocking, horrible thing to experience. I hope you will find this site supportive and helpful.
I love this comment - I really can't stand when people come on here and are sharing their deepest and darkest moments - moments that make them ashamed and then get bashed or beaten to death with the same comments over and over - OP - I am so sorry you have to go through this - I think quite frankly if I had walked in on my SS in bed with my child naked he would have woken up in the hospital after I got done with him - being a sexual abuse survivor myself - it is very hard to get over it and to think that somehow it was not my fault - abusers are really good at getting their victims to think it was their fault that it happened - anyone who actually has the balls to question why your BS was naked should be shot - he is the victim not the damn abuser - the poor thing waking up like that and even if something has happened before he is in no way at fault and that stupid notion should not even be entertained.
My prayers are with you at this time!! In my opinion I think you should get him away permantly from your son. I would also talk to my son to see if there was other encounters. You do need to notify his mother, grandparents, school counsellors, etc to make sure they are aware and maybe will offer more help for the SS. Just my thoughts.
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So sorry this is happening to your family. The past has happened. I would focus entirely on protecting your other children and all other children from your SS I agree with this completely. Let him feel the legal consequences, but get him some counseling. I agree as well. You can't just let this kid walk off without any consequences, according to what you wrote I am taking it he is a repeat offender. Please please do not make the mistake of thinking that because he's younger that he's not capable of doing worse or that he shouldn't be brought up on charges.
I used to work for a place that dealt with juvenile offenders and you would not believe what even 9, 10, and 11 year olds did. Just awful awful things. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this but you have a responsiblity to your child and other children to do something about this. The boy needs counselling NOW. Intensive counselling. I suspect he has been molested himself for some time and this is his way of not being a victim anymore. He needs to be kept away from other children.
He obviously has a problem with self control and some deep seated problems. And here comes the issue how to deal with it. Was he abused himself? Who did it? Can you face knowing you are friends with someone who may have started all of this? Somehow he got this idea that this is OK. And if you condemn the child you have to accept that you or his mother may well know very well the person who started this.
This isn't just about this boy. Good luck. And take your son to a few counselling sessions. He may need some clarification of what is acceptable and what isn't from an impartial party.
Is it just me, or have we had a plethora of perv stories from new members in the last few days? I am thinking you and your son need to go sleep in a motel tonight.
I am not only afraid for your son's but your safety if he is afraid you will tell his secret to the world.
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Please get him out of your house ASAP, he knows what he is doing. He is 14 years old and knows better! Oh my gosh; get him help before it goes any further!! If that isn't far enough I hope your son is okay with all of this; how awful for him - I don't know what I would do. I hope someone will be able to help him with all of this Both of them.
I would deff make sure your son "understands" what happened the best he can; wow. What an awful situation I'm so sorry I agree with love and support the 14 year old but don't allow him opportunity to be around the younger kids again. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
I hope you will listen to some of the more compassionate and productive advise you've received and ignore the reactive, judgmental nonsense being spewed by those who have no idea what they are talking about. It's almost impossible to step back, breathe, and think.
But that's what you and your DH have to do. That means that your stepson can never be allowed alone with a child.
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Getting him out of the house is an excellent solution. He isn't a 16 year old. He isn't an 18 year old. He is a 14 year old child. He needs treatment. Only an expert can figure out whether this was really dumb and age inappropriate experimentation This will affect your relationship with your husband. And it will affect the kids. Your family is in my prayers.
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You are in a horrible situation. But you can find a way out. The key is not to panic. And not to make rash, emotionally based decisions. I agree with retro here.
What part of that do you not get? Yes this is for one poster! Dad needs to help this child but I also agree he needs to be out of the house. Not with his mom though. I have seen this with another child, a friend's child had his innocence taken from him by his cousin.
The police didn't do anything to the kid but they took him form his parents. He was being messed with by his mom's bf, she didn't care and married the dude while he was in jail. It messed this poor kid up really bad. Your ss needs help and needs to know his parents care. That may mean that dad take him somewhere to get him help and let him know that he is there for him.
Whever you and your child are,he can not be allowed This is for the father and BM to figure out. It is certainly a disgrace for them that they must deal with. He must be taken to a doctor for these issues and the doc's orders must be followed. They will know the proper steps in getting this kid institutionalized and help needed.
This kid is very sick. You want to handle this carefully and discreetly for your own personal future with others. Don't think for a minute that everyone's kid hasn't done some sexual exploring with others. I believe it is only human nature. The 14 year old He is dangerous and significantly harmful to others. Knowing that he is mentally sick and deviante, you get him out and you get him help. You don't want people wondering what "dad" or another family member did to the boy to make him that way.
You will be alienated from everyone if you go public calling the police on this. I saw this happen in my neighborhood with all 3 familes having to move out. We were happy to see all of them leave, due to the ugliness of the whole incident. The victims families screamed bloody murder about it letting everyone know what the kid across the street had done. That family was so good, except for the nasty son.
It was awful and it will follow all of them for the rest of their lives.
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Be discreet, be firm Do I think he can be cured? Do I think he should be castrated. Will it stop him Whoever posted about shooting the kid I think that person should do it, then, be imprisoned forever as they aren't a rational human and who cares if they're off the planet, also.
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I wanted to say one more thing it is thinking like yours open minded that make victims think it is their fault. Easy to place blame, tough to accurately place blame.
Most of those who commit some sort of assault, sexual or otherwise, were victims at some point. In reality, the disease is to blame with the perpetrators a symptom. Treating the symptom will save the young one, but it does nothing to stop the disease. That is far more complicated. I really don't think our society knows what the hell to do with psychological sexual disease. Locking it up and throwing away the key seems like an easy answer, but I really don't think it's that simple.
To the original poster, I hope you have found support. In my humble opinion, steps need to be taken I am not profession - not sure what steps so that the family grows closer, not more distant or fragmented from this unfortunate event.
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Only then can the healing process be nurtured. You definitely need to get him out of there. Your son is not safe if he's there. He needs to be sent to jail or something like sending him to a Juvenile Delinquency Program. He needs to be under the care of authorities that can watch him.